I’ve been struggling to write recently.
This happens sometimes, bouts of writer’s block that can
last weeks or months.
I’ve had a couple of people ask me why I haven’t posted
anything in a while. Surely the presidential debates are prime subject for me
to write about, aren’t they?
It’s true: the debacle that is the current presidential race
provides a lot of juicy material, from Trump’s comments about sexual assault to
the fact that people somehow still
manage to bitch about Hillary Clinton. I have many thoughts on this subject and
others.
Why don’t I write them?
People assume I have not tried. I’ve articulated many of my
thoughts to friends and family, and I’ve started if not finished several pieces
on various topics.
But then, that’s the problem with writer’s block, as anyone
who practices writing or other creative exploits: it’s often not the lack of
ideas that hinders the process, rather a difficulty in transmitting those ideas
onto the page.
The mental stymie extends beyond my writing. My schoolwork
has suffered, and I’ve been finding it harder and harder to motivate myself to
do simple tasks such as exercise or do my laundry. I find myself questioning the
purpose in a lot of my actions. What’s the point in reading this book? Why do I
need to go to class today? It’s like a constant existential crisis. Why? Why
put any effort into anything? I haven’t been sleeping well. Somehow my late
night thoughts consistently wander until I find myself contemplating the
inevitable heat death of the universe.
A short while back, Mary Robinette Kowal wrote a really good
piece on the
relation between writer’s block and depression. I highly recommend everyone
give it a read. I don’t often talk about my struggles with depression, but I
did write about it in a piece for
Beautiful Minds Magazine a while back, and those closest to me are familiar
with my situation.
Intellectually speaking, I find the situation quite
interesting. Is the writer’s block a product of how I’ve been feeling the last
few weeks, or is this bout of depression a product of the creative wall I’ve
struck?
I don’t want this blog to get stuck on lengthy ruminations
about my state of mind. I have a journal for that. I want the pieces I post
here to be productive, stimulating conversation on meaningful and interesting topics.
However, I feel that a bit of an explanation as to why I’ve
been quiet the last few weeks is in order. I appreciate the people that read my
posts and who stick by me. To those of you reading this right now, you have no
idea how much your support means.
Sometimes, the act of self-reflection and confession can be
cathartic. I’m hoping I’ll get out of this slump soon. Until then, I really do
appreciate everyone’s support and encouragement.
